Testimonial: Battling Depression with Regular Exercise
You know the feeling when you can barely breathe, sweat is covering every inch of your body, and you just want to give up? Well, for a very long time that was me. I wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety when I was 19. Then again at age 27. It consumed me to a point that I just didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to feel. I felt alone.
Eventually, you hit a wall. Try to end the pain and suffering, or continue to linger in it? I wanted out. My therapist at the time asked me what I was doing for me. Was I being active? I told her that I was at my normal rate of activity. When I left my session that day, I drove to the mall, picked up a new pair of running shoes and decided it was time for the old me to come back. I found CrossFit.
I walked into a box and was ready to put in the hard work. I made a schedule and stuck to it. I trained 5 to 6 days a week, sometimes multiple times a day. I re-worked my nutrition so that I was eating again and also finding a passion for cooking! I gained a new community who turned into family. Those individuals pushed me to do better and better.
The music was always loud and got me amped and ready to go. The workouts pushed me physically, but also cleared out any of the bad thoughts mentally. If was upset, I would lift. I would run. I’d get on the rower and block the world out—just go. When I pushed the bar over my head or did just one more rep, no one could stop me. Whenever I left, I felt like the weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, and I felt good about me. I was proud of me. That feeling was rare, and it always had been.
CrossFit saved my life. It was my first investment in myself, and I am so grateful for all the doors it has opened for me. From becoming stronger, to finding a passion for running and obstacle course races, and competing in CrossFit competitions (and even winning!) to working in sports. Now, I chase a new feeling…one where I can barely breathe and sweat is covering every inch of my body, but this time, it’s a great feeling. I feel alive.